I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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