Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
