No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
