Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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