Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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