You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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