non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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