and she was petting her beer can
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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