Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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