Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
