I bet he comes in French.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
