How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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