Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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