the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
