..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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