Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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