He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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