we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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