oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
