what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize