im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
