i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
