One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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