If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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