She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
