maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
