I heard we made out
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is the high leading the old right now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
