He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
