apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize