I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hippo gnu deer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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