So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
