i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I had to cum in my sink.
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