I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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