That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
