it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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