You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
