I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
