I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
