no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
