So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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