Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
