it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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