I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
