so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
