i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish you could order shots online.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
