Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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