Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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