Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
