Are we in a gay sports bar?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just gift wrapped bread.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
