remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
