It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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