Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize