farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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