This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
