Need sex. Gaining weight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize