I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
