scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
