I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize